Breathe

Every day I die again, and again I’m reborn
Every day I have to find the courage
To walk out into the street
With arms out
Got a love you can’t defeat
Neither down nor out
There’s nothing you have that I need
I can breathe
Breathe now

Breathe - U2

Fathers Day

Yesterday was Fathers day. Everyday is Fathers day when I'm around my kids. Not just yesterday, but everyday since they've been born. I love them and how they make me feel. Yes there are times they drive me crazy (Naomi substitutes breathing with talking sometimes and Andrew has found the joy of throwing stuff) but I love them beyond belief! The relationship between a Father and their child should always be special and significant. Unfortunately we live in a world were many don't experience this.

That breaks my heart...

God's Father heart for me was revealed through His son Jesus. If you want to understand the Father, just look at his son and experience Him. When I was a teen God the Father used to freak me out. I looked on Him like an angry God. That was it. My view of the trinity was that God was the angry Father that you very wanted to meet, Jesus was the cool brother, and the Holy Spirit was the weird crazy aunt. Safe to say that my view has changed alot since then.
I love my heavenly Father and I know He loves me. I experience it every day. I see it all around me and I hear Him tell me everyday. Since becoming a Dad I think I got a better glimpse of the Father's heart. Now I always said that before becoming a Dad I wouldn't go all ga-ga and talk like this. But the fact is, I can't help it. There is something about being a Father. Knowing you've brought a child (or two) into the world, you feel responsible for them and want nothing but the best for them. You want you're kids to know the love you have for them but also for them to grow well and strong and be the best they can be.
Knowing what the Father has done for me (and everyone else!) it's humbling and yet liberating! He wants us to be free to live the way we're meant to be, and not chained up by our failings and Satan's view of us. His heart is for me/us to live the way it was before the Fall. I have a Father who is the greatest of them all and I need to live that way.

A Fathers love is very precious and child's response to that love completes it. (1 John 4v12)

More Than Meets The Eye...

So at Midnight on Thursday I went to see the new Transformers Movie. I love movies (most movies, not all!) I really enjoyed this one. So far (as summers go) there have been some cracking movies. Star Trek, Terminator, and Wolverine I've really enjoyed. These are your typical "Summer Blockbusters". Bar Star Trek all have gotten mixed reviews. I'm not one to read to much into a review as it's only ones opinion (unless it's someone I know and respect) but I've noticed a slight change in some of these movies.

God very often uses movies and music to speak to me. It's been like this for years and I love it because I love movies and music! God knows this and I know that's why He does it. God usually uses the things we are passionate about to speak to us. We need to be aware of this and look for it and train our mind to be that way inclined. I love the way God does this.

Anyway, what I've noticed over the last while in a lot of these movies has been the theme in them. If you look at the top 5 money-making movies in 2008 you've got (not in order) Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Hancock, Indiana Jones, Wall-E and so far in 2009 you have Watchmen, Star Trek, Wolverine, Gran Torino (odds are high that Transformers will be in this list too). The theme of "new beginnings"/origins and heroes is quite obvious and strong in these films. Now most Directors are smart in tapping into what will be popular with an audience or the human spirit. The movies mentioned have made the most money because people are going to see them (probably more than once). Whats the attraction? Why now are movies of pure fantasy doing so well. I believe this shows a hunger in people that they what a hero. A hero that they can relate too because they know the background to this hero. They know the struggle it is to be(come) this hero. People like the idea of being protected, looked out for, someone fighting for them.

The greatest (fiction)hero of the last 70yrs to be spawned from the human mind has been Superman. (I know my brother would disagree but Batman would come a close second). Now I'm not going to write a parrell between Superman and Jesus now but trust me it's uncanny! (I'll write it some other time) Why do people love hearing about other heroes and not Jesus. Is it because they don't know the full story? We (christians) are so quick to tell people about his death that we forget to tell them about his life. We know why he died but why did he live? Why did he come? Why show up when he did?

If people were to know the complete picture as to who Jesus is and what he's all about, would it make a difference?

I think it would...

On The Road To Beautiful

Yesterday I went off on my own for a time of prayer, thought and solitude. It was great. First part of my journey was in Dun Laoghaire. Just thanking God for the blessing I/We have received while living here. Then I whipped down to Wicklow town to pray for our future and the Journey God has in store for us. Really excited and nervous about it all. Needed to do this to still my heart and mind as they've been a tad stressed over the last while (still waiting for paperwork to be done!) So after all of this I had a meeting in Redcross which I headed off too. On my way I passed a car that had pulled over at the side of the road. I'd a real urge to stop and check it out. I did. After reversing back down the N11 (scary fun!) I got out of the car and there was a woman (Mary)in her 50's sitting at the side of the car. Her left front wheel had a blow-out and she didn't know what to do. She had phoned her son to see if he could get some help for her.

Now Mary seemed well stressed at the situation if not a little over reactive to it all. I asked if she had a spare (she did) and I told her that I could change it for her. At that she broke down in tears. Mary then proceeded to tell me that she was on her way home from the hospital. Her husband (Liam) was meant to have an operation that day but it'd got cancelled (4th time in 10 days!) She talked about how she felt so alone and how hard it had been over the last while. She was tired of driving back and forth to the Dublin Hospital. How could this happen!?! I felt such compassion for her. She was in such a state and so broken-hearted. Amidst our conversation she used Jesus' name in vain in a way that Quentin Tarantino would be proud of. I told her that I'd change the wheel, and while doing this another van stopped to help. Out popped 2 Itinerants (Father and son) and they just got stuck in to help. I stepped back a little as the Dad was showing his son how to change a tire. I found it a little funny, however, Mary was sent over the edge! After we'd finished she asked what she could give us. The Dad said "Don't worry love it was nothing". I interjected and told him what he had done was very cool and to look at all the traffic just passing by and no-one else stopping. He paused and was like "huh, yeah I guess". We put everything away in the boot, I shook his hand and he and his son were on their way.

Mary broke down again I couldn't believe what had just happened. Her words were " Jesus, I'm so alone this was awful". I asked her to pop the boot as I wanted to show her the huge rip in the wheel. She stated "Jesus save us I could of been killed". I said to her " Yes you could of and yes he did!" She just looked at me. There on the side of the road I got to share the kingdom with Mary. I asked if I could pray with her, she was totally up for it. I prayed, she wept. It was awesome. I left her without telling her my name but knowing that our meeting would leave her confused but full of peace. As I drove away I couldn't but love what had just happened. I was late for my meeting but I didn't care. I had just experienced a Kingdom moment.

I wish I was this obedient all the time and see what God is doing around me. I get blinded at times by my own situations that this was a great reminder of who God is and his heart for his people

Gods Voice

On Friday past was my sons birthday. He's now 2 and continues to warm my heart every day. He is such fun and has a great mischievous way about him. Both my kids make me laugh every day. Really laugh, not the "someones told a feeble joke so I better laugh" laugh, but real heartfelt laughter. I love it! We'd a great day on Friday just hanging and playing as a family. That night we'd a BBQ due to the wonderful weather. No joke 8 days with no rain and pure sun is always welcome in Ireland. We'd friends over with us for the BBQ. Awesome friends.

On Saturday I'd an invite to meet up with some people who'd come over from a church in the states called Bethal. The pastor is a guy called Bill Johnson who is a man after Gods warrior heart. Anyways, I was asked if I'd like to meet the team for some prayer and encouragement. Rarely would I turn down such an offer. I'm not going to write down what was said to me but, God spoke. I knew none of these people and they knew nothing about me and yet God used them all to speak truth, love and boldness into my life!

I love when God speaks. Too often we wonder what it sounds like. Over the years it has sounded very differently in many different contexts, but you do recognise it when you hear it. Hard to explain. Let me put it another way. In a room full of loud children, I always know when mine are talking or making there own particular noise. Why? Because my ear knows their sounds. It's used to them. My ear hears them all the time. It's the same way with Jesus. Spend enough time with Him and you'll know his sounds!

Saturday was a wonderful time were God spoke truth that I needed to hear and reminded me of things I'd forgotten about. He focused my heart and mind. It was recorded and I recieved it on Sunday night. I listened to it again with Ru and it was just great to listen to it with someone who really knows me! Someone who's honest enough to say that was real or not. All that was said was for the here and now, which was great considering the season we're find ourselves in. All the change going on and God's voice is still loud and clear.

Ru's bro (Simon) came down on the saturday and stayed overnight (always good to see and spend time with him) and my parents came over to see us (really the kids-but thats always cool). Great to see what God is doing in there lives too!

On Sunday Ru, the kids and I went down to Glendalough. I/We love it down there. It's beautiful, historic and refreshing. Always great fun with kids who just want out and to splash in muck and climb everywhere. Good times!

Forgiveness

There's a great scene in Schindlers List were Oskar Schlindler is talking to Amon Goth (an SS Officer) about the power of forgiveness. Oskar is trying to convince Amon that there's more power in forgiveness than just killing someone because they've disappointed you (something Amon did on a regular basis) He convinces Amon for a time and it's a fascinating watch. He's not convinced completely though and resorts to killing (for him, the easy thing to do!)

I've been thinking about this issue for some time now. Why we love to be forgiven and yet struggle to forgive. In every relationship that we ever experience there is always a time for forgiveness. Weather the forgiveness is received or given it should be a great thing, but we seem to struggle with it. I've been thinking about how forgiveness is not a one-off thing but an ongoing lifestyle. Jesus was asked about forgiveness. How many times? was the question and his answer is almost silly but seriously challenging! 70 times 7. You see his followers were looking for a limit to it, and Jesus' response was :- Limit? There is no Limit!
Forgiveness is meant to be part of our lifestyle, but its so difficult. I know I find it difficult at times and it'd be easier "to kill than forgive" But who does it kill? Over the last number of months I've found myself in situations/relationships were I ask myself ; Forgive Or Kill? I try to define the right and/or moral thing to do. Where forgiveness doesn't happen, death (the kill!) occurs. Death of conversation, trust, love, healing, relationship. Of course it has to be a two way thing and that can sometimes be the reason why we (I) don't forgive. If I think I know the outcome do I really want to play my part? It's difficult but is it meant to be or should it get easier if we truly understood what Forgiveness is.
Matt 6 v 12 "Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors"

Forgive As God Has Forgiven Or You'll Not Be Forgiven.

Challenging...

Bank Holiday Weekend

So, this weekend past was a bank holiday. Normally these weekends come and go with no real notice as either Ru and I are usually working over a weekend. (Ru was working Sun-Mon has it happened). Anyway, on Friday we all went over to the Phoenix Park in Dublin to hire out some bikes and go for a cycle and picnic. We had a blast! For 4hrs we cycled, played, picniced, cycled, played etc. We had so much fun. All for €10!!! The weather these last couple of days have been fantastic! Been along time coming. I love Ireland (always have!) and when the weather is good Ireland is even more beautiful. The rain doesn't normally bother me that much but since being free from work this last month (can't believe a month has gone by so fast!) it sort of has. Wanting to get out and about is good but better when the weather is good. Ru and the kids (and I-most of the time) love being outdoors. In fact both Naomi and Andrews first few words were "out, out!" Being free to cycle on Friday past was exactly that-Free! When I was younger I used to cycle everywhere and I loved it (too much!), and that feeling of freedom on Friday was very refreshing. Really thinking and praying about getting a bike now!

On the Saturday, I put up 2man tent up in the back garden as Naomi has been wanting to "camp" for some time now. That night, we both slept outdoors for the first (and definitly not the last) time. Naomi was so excited. We told each other stories and sang and laughed alot! It was fun, until 6am came and Naomi wanted to play games cause it was "so bright and exciting to be camping". I was being sent over the edge but this is what memories are made of. Simple things that mean so much. Good times!